So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
