I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
