$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
