omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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