Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize