I love black thongs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
