he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
