I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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