You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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