but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
