Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
