bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
