is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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