They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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