i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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