So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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