Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
