Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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