I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize