can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
