Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
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