so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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