i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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