I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
