come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
