I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this will be a night to untag.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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