Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
