I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
