It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
