Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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