just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
