Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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