we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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