it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
