Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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