Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
