I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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