I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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