Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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