im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
