party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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