I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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