Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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