Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
