there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
