Will you blow on my dice?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
