You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
