Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
