My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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