There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
