so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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