I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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