420 ftw
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
