His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He kissed a someone with a penis
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
