my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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