I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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