the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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