I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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