A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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